-So not much happened this week; yo I might as well be typing one blog every week if this continues on, we'll see. So I've been pretty busy with my school work. I had 2 tests on Thursday, and at night I went to this Japanese Restaurant (which.. didn't exactly turn out well, the food I mean... it wasn't what you expect really... more like different "Asian" food instead.) And then today, Friday, I had another test... quiz... a French quiz that everyone was freaking out about. It actually seemed a lot more like a unit test to be truthful with you. We were actually supposed to have a summative science quest, but my teacher said that our class average was pretty high (psh, 79%... high... right... as if) and so she would just consider this a formative quest, a quest that doesn't count for any marks or anything. So we were supposed to do that today, unfortunately we ran out of time... and I kind of studied my butt off for not much reason last night then. -cough cough- But overall, this week didn't turn out that bad.
-Right, there's like... so many birthdays this week; I'm not even joking. The 10th was my friend's birthday, woot woot yo yo! Haha, and the 11th was my OTHER friend's birthday... then the 12th of November was the birthday of this little girl, today is the birthday of my friend whose birthday is on the 10th's pastor's birthday, tomorrow is someone from her church's birthday, then the 15th is someone else from her church and the 16th is my mother's birthday. (: Many birthdays as you can see, many happy days. JOY TO THE WORLD. THE LORD HAS COME. Sorry, random moment right there; bwahahahaha.
-I got my Mid-term mark today, I actually did a lot better than I thought. My average for all 5 courses is 85%. Asian pass? Maybe. LOL, but uhm... my English still really fails big time... -looks down- I have a feeling this unit, for poetry, I'm not going to pass either. I hardly get the illiteracy devices thing like metaphor, simile, paradox and etc. It's all a big puddle of water.... I need to pay more attention to class and everything. -sigh-
-So today's Friday, TGIF, and as you know, most Fridays I go to Fellowship with my friend... whose birthday was the 10th of November. Today's topic is my title: Spiritual Discipline. I don't know... it felt different this time... the things we talked about and discussed were really deep. Cell group wise. We were playing this game... it's just a truthful yes or no question kind of game. The person asked whether we spend spiritual time with God a lot, my answer was "No". He asked some question about television... I didn't really get some... I guess you could say I was on the no side a lot... but whatever. In the end, the guy was like "do you find it interesting how majority of the people are on the "YES" side when I ask about facebook or television (basically stuff not God related) and majority of the people are on the "NO" side when I ask about GOD?" That... just hit me right in the head. I felt guilty, and truth be told; I hardly take guilt trips. At points in life I feel like I'm getting SO CLOSE with God, I'm just reading the bible, spending time with him... and then suddenly... it all... somehow, drops. My focus on God is lost and it's among the thoughts of school work and other stuff. I just thought "wow... that's... sad... I should just totally stop everything; put everything down and spend some time with God." It's tough for me really, I can't stay focus on ONE thing... ADHD I guess you can say... but what I'm trying to say is that I usually focus on many things.
->For example, when my friend talks about something and trying to get really deep, I'm usually watching drama or facebook-ing. It's not because I want to, it's because I can't focus on ONE thing. Short attention span. So in order to keep me listening, i need to do something else. For example in class, my teacher's just up there talking and talking. I'm not doing anything else but listening; I get bored. My reaction... is to sleep. I'm still listening, I get everything. My teacher hands out worksheet, I finish it, she comes over; points at the work and goes "Perfect!" I'm listening, but I tend to drift off if I pay attention to ONE thing too long.
-So anyway, back to what I was talking about. ^ Omgsh see what I mean? I tend to talk about other stuff. Ugh. So yeah, it's really tough for me. I guess I can ask God for help on this. I should pray to God about how sorry I am for totally repelling from God in a way because of other stuff. That I pray God would somehow help me focus on him more because I really do want to get close to him. It's just hard for me. The pastor was handing out devotion books and I didn't know if I should take one or not. I felt kind of lazy; again moving away from God. But my friend gave me one and i felt something click again. I felt that maybe God is trying to call me back to him again. Trying to pick me up from all the crowded place as if i was a lost child. Trying to find me again as if I was the lost lamb since he is the Shepard. Which reminds me of a bible story about the lost lamb. If one lamb from all 100 lambs disappear, the Shepard would go out to seek the lost lamb. That's a short summary, but yeah. I feel as if i am a lost lamb and that God's calling my name because he's looking for me. I think i'm going to pray to God about this and try and get close to him again. I really do wish to get close to God; reading bible, spending time with him. I can feel it, I can already feel the happiness I would receive and get. I can feel the closeness and the warmth if I were to be closer with God. I no longer want to walk the path of lostness and loneliness. I want to walk the path of life and happiness where God will hold my hand and guild me out of the crowdedness and back into his arms.
-I feel like ending off with a small prayer so bear with moi:
Dear Heavenly Father, Lord Almighty,
I come to you today because it has been much too long that I've been separated from you. I feel as if I've been separated from my Mother or Father, I feel the sense of being lost and lonely. Lord, I pray that you will guild me back to the right path where you will lead and be my savior and my Shepard. I also pray that you let me understand your words in the bible and that you let me see the way you've created me to be. I know you've given me a chance at life because you want me to see the world you've created. I've been given a chance at life and in this life I should get to know you, the creator of our Earth. You've put your love into making this beautiful Earth just for us to live, and yet people curse you under their breath and say bad things about you. I pray you forgive them because they do not enjoy the beauty of life you've given to us. They do not see the truth because they don't know the truth. Some people fear the truth as well, but that is because they have not experienced your love. If they were to see how great and true your love is, i'm sure they will doubt no more. I pray now that you give your people strength, courage, love and care. I pray that they will learn something new about you every single day because there is never a limit to learning just how great you are. I pray that they will be happy and feel your warmth, love, and joy each day of their lives and that they will come to you in their time of need. When they need someone's shoulder, they will know that you are there for them. And Lord I be praying that you love the ones that have yet to know you. I know that you are trying to call upon some people, but they turn their heads away from you. I pray that they will get to see your everlasting love soon. I will keep praying for those that need you in their life because of hardship as well. Lord, Bless these souls. Bless each and everyone of us for we are your children. We are the children of the Lord God Almighty. We get down on our knees before you and pray that you hear our words. Lord, as I sleep now, as others are sleeping, while people on the other side of the world are awake; i pray that you love them and bless them. As we continue on with our lives, that you always be there with us. I know you are there, although there be times when I doubt you are, somehow it is always proven that you're there for me and others. Lord, as people on this side of the world go sleep, I pray that you keep them safe and keep their souls and selves under your wings. I pray you give glory to the people across the world who are getting ready for work or a Saturday morning. I pray you keep the people who are about to work now safe as well. Put us all under your wings of love and care. Of joy and courage, of glory, mercy and blessings.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.
