-Okay, so my title isn't telling you to literally bug off, it's just how I'm feeling..... not literally to you people but like... ==; you know what. Smarten up and GET it.
-So anyways, why do I sound pissed you ask. It's because of my parents. Who's parents WOULDN'T annoyed the HECK out of them? If some of you are like that, you're lucky people. ==; Unfortunately I'm here and unable to share the joyous moments with you. As I was saying... my parents do this over and over again. They talk about me; BAD STUFF NO DOUBT. And WHAT do they do when talking about BAD STUFF? They say it to each other; LOUD. Loud enough so that I can HEAR IT NICE AND CLEAR. They talk about me to each other as if they were talking TO me, but not directly AT me. So something like this: -I'm right there and they talk- "she thinks everything's about her" "she only thinks about herself" "she doesn't consider the thoughts of other people" TO HECK WITH THAT I SAY! Excuse me while I rant out some anger here: UGHFQUGQ3-9P687Q80HGQUI345YHQ-43Y89UH4; HV1IO3. I'm good now.
-So like the other day... .-. which was yesterday, my calves were hurting... the part under your knee. I was stretching and they started hurting. It was excrutiating I tell you!! I was literally screaming and shrieking and I would be kicking my legs but keep in mind that they were the ones in pain. My dad was beside me... all THAT guy did was cough and continue on with his "life". My mom was upstairs and doing HER stuff. IF I DIED THEY WOULDN'T CARE.
-I was talking to 2 friends and one of them said I somehow became meaner. Right there and then it clicked to me on the reason why I was mean...er... o_o;; meaner.... my parents scolding me and I noticed my behaviour, I realized even more why I was like that. The reasoning is quite simple. I'm just a girl that's not feeling loved and lonely so I use my behaviours and meaness to kind all of it. Isn't that simple? :)
-I think that's all I have to say, I'll edit if I have more to say... later
Dear jacqueline,
ReplyDeleteokay, firstly, like i said, GET READY FOR A SUPER SUPIER LONG REPLY =-= heheheh im going to rant/lecture you and your blog =] ready ? set GO ! ^-^ GANBANDE JANACHI !~ <3
FIRSTLY, jacqueline. I COMPLETELY understand how you are feeling. My parents always talk about me when they're downstairs and im upstairs. They just always PURPOSELY seem to talk loud enough just to let me hear how USELESS i am. and i guess that's what really turns me off. just the fact that they PURPOSELY talk loud enough so i can lower my own self-esteem. but if you really think about it, they have their own good and bad reasons. they're both wrong and right about the htings they say. I guess, im just trying to say, instead of being hateful because they're spazzing crap about you and everything, be grateful because they're giving you INDIRECT advice so we can improve on whatever they think we should imporve on. Our parents yell because they CARE, as much as we want to think they dont. Look, some people have parents who are DEAD. they WANT to hear their voice, even if it's just spazzing and yelling at them . should we not consider ourselves that we have parents to remind us even if it's harsh ? and should we not be grateful they're sitll ALIVE and WELL and we can go to them when we have problems ? Jacqueline, i really encourage you to watch God's chisel by the skit guys whenever you feel the way you feel righ tnow. God doesnt make trash, and we are his ORIGINAL MASTERPIECE. we're not worthy of his love, let alone being his masterpiece, but he LOVES us. We're not useless no matter how much parents say we are. they jsut want us to grow and learn =]
Secondly, we were joking around last night jacqueline. The reason you feel unloved and useless and alone is because you've been hurt. and you feel like you deserve it because you don't think you're very worthy of people loving you. but we DO love you jacqueline. and we might not be expressing our love for you LOUR AND CLEAR. but some people are caring for yoiu silently. some poeple are praying for you. YOU are LOVED and accepted for who you are and God's made you to be. and i really hope that as life gets tough, you'll hold on to the fact that you are someone that God has created, knit together, even his MASTERPIECE <3