Hate It.

Sometimes... i really do hate life.
There are things I wish I haven't done.
And things I wish I don't do.
And just things in general.
I hate how I learned to play the piano. Even after quitting, my dad still forces me to practice so that the money they put into my piano lessons haven't gone to waste. I hate how I accepted to try and play as an accompanist for my dad's friend for 24hour worship. Because I accepted to try, my dad is always on my tail, asking me to practice those songs each day, asking whether i know how to play them and telling me how i'm not playing fast enough for the songs and how i need to practice them more and how i need to learn the chords and everything. I hate how because I don't practice piano, my parents think I actually don't like music and said they were going to tell my music teacher at school that i don't practice piano. Seriously, piano is not the only instrument that has to do with music. Get it screwed it your head properly.
I hate how even though I've followed my parents around this winter holiday, they're still complaining that I'm always on the computer and how I took their laptop because my computer got messed up.
I hate how my dad tells me I'm the same as "him". I can honestly tell you, just because I'm a BIT like my him, doesn't mean i AM him. Okay? I wash the dishes when you tell me to, I don't argue with you while calling you insulting things, I vacuum the carpet when i'm told, sweep the floor, I even shovel the snow and clean the bathroom (before he took over it) when you tell me to. My life isn't always spent in front of the screen of my computer like him okay? I actually do those. He doesn't. I don't even understand why he gets allowances and i don't. He doesn't do anything at all yet he gets $50 a month? Tch.
I hate being compared to friends or people in general. The End. Oh sure, go compare me with someone else. Oh sure, yell at me when I compare myself with someone else because they're not your "child".
Hate it. Yeah sure, hate's a strong word. Haven't used that word in a while. But you know what... life's messed up enough to use it right now.
Hate how i feel like i don't belong here or anywhere. The love? it comes.. and goes. This lonely world... can't trust anyone.
Hate it... just let me hate it for now... just for now...
i'll go back to how i am later... loving everything again.
but just for now... let me drown... in my misery.

Retreat Day One

retreat day one
how is it?
i guess you could say that it's not bad.
Right now, instead of sleeping, the youths are playing cards downstairs. XD
Wonder how long they plan to stay up until
Thank God for wifi.XD
tomorrow the whole day.
hope it's okay and not bad.
why do i bother typing this?
just a reason to go on internet?
pretty sure that's why.
LOL
im out

Jacamom wishes you all a merry Christmas {On Christmas Day...}

Hap... *crosses that out*
i meant MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Today is the 25th of DECEMBERRR and YES.
it means it's CHRISTMAS!!! woooooo~~~~
So, when do you guys open your presents anyway? .___.
apparently you're supposed to open them on boxing day... but i always thought you were supposed to open them on Christmas Day... D8
OH WELL. It's the same either way. The only difference is that you can open the presents a day earlier. XD.. i think some people open them on Christmas Eve. o.o"
anyway.
SO.
Merry Christmas SON,
Merry Christmas DAUGHTER.
Merry Christmas, GRAND DAUGHTER,
Merry Christmas.... ex... son/daughter??
Merry Christmas... extra people who still need to be given a part in the family (:
and most of all!!
Where's my present from you guys? = = no im kidding. XD
you guys being my friends are enough for me. (:
SO ANYWAY.
oh by the way son, yes i know what "add oil" is. XD i'm old, but not that old. I still know what you youngsters say with your slang and stuff. (:
Anyway. Melly Krissy-masu!
I hope you all spend it nicely with your family.. or friends... or your... family of friends.. if you get me... friends that are your family.. you get get me? yeah, i thought so. :)
okkayyy, bye. XD

Stupid Computer. Rant.

So my computer died on me. Okay no, I don't mean that it literally died, like. BOOM! power's gone. video card got burned. I meant my internet died on me. Not the connections. NO. = = I said NOT the connections. I meant the whole entire internet.... am i joking? what does it look like to you? no. Anyway, so my internet suddenly disappeared on me, I'm pretty sure internet doesn't just KAPOOF on you. Right? So it must have something to do with my computer. I'm 99.99% sure. What about the 0.01%? Not sure.

so NOW. I have to use my mom's laptop. Which isn't a good thing because my parents use my mom's laptop too. pooie. Might have to reboot computer. :r *sigh* again.

And have i ever mentioned how much "those two" get on my nerve? Well, they didn't really do anything to me, but I'm still a part of it. They're annoying. The end. No questions asked. Actually, they're not just "annoying", they're like... I don't even know how to describe it, but I just want to slap them sometimes. You know? Slap them twice across the face. I'd scream at them... I really would. But no, that wouldn't be nice. BUT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO. Well no, not really. All I can really say is they're kind of disrespectful. = = " They bring the word "disrespect" to a whole new level! no I'm joking... or maybe i'm not. I'm not too sure if I'm joking or not. All I know is that they're loud and rude. = = They think they can do anything they want? HA. I pity them then. Actually no, i don't even want to pity them. i want nothing to do with them. I say this, but sometimes they're not that bad. Really. it's just those times when they're really loud and the whole darn neighbourhood can hear them. <--example of exaggeration.
What to do, what to do. I'm not the only one who's fed up with them. FAKE MAN. FAKE. THEY'RE FAKE. okay no that's too harsh.

*sigh* eotteoke...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONEW!!~

Haven't posted something in a long time. ahh well.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONEW! SHINee's Leader. (:
Thanks for taking care of your dongsaengs! =D
You're a good hyung. (: continue being a good hyung to them!
kekeke.
And of course,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MINHO~
Flaming Charisma. (:
Saranghaeyo! SHINee!

BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Mom. (:
♥

love you~

Can I give up?

On life.
No im kiddingg.
on Science, Bio. D:
which is basically about life...
which makes me go back to "on life" (:

Stupid

And I thought essays are stupid.
Concept maps are just as stupid as essays. = =

Unforgettable Memories

Last year was full of memories;
making new friends and trying new things we've never tried before.
Exploring our first year.
But I guess the memory i miss most is the band that we all once were.
Many did not take band this year, which is kind of saddening to the heart.
Listening to a band piece we played {Creed-William Himes} brought back all the memories i've had while playing in the band. All the performances the band did together, the practices, sectionals, and rehearsal just suddenly came flying into my head.
And honestly, i really do miss all those.
I can close my eyes and imagine us playing together.
I especially miss one of my clarinet buddy who i always help and rant with.
Sadly she didn't take music again. ): but she did say she kind of missed it! ;3
She was like.. my awesome music-clarinet buddy. ^^
Memories are the past, but they're a good part of the past. (:
I shall write my memories on stones so that they can not be erased ever~

My Crumbling Heart; it shatters to pieces. Dear Friends...

So my internet monthly usage was basically used up almost right to the end, but we were trying to use less of it.
Man, the most i've ever been on these past few days have been i think less than 30 minutes.
The internet i mean. I try not to go on too much and i past time by reading... (ishly) or playing solitaire... or spider solitaire.
I am THAT bored. T__T;
But it seems that whenever that happens, I get closer to my cousin... in a way.
We talk a lot more, since he doesn't have internet and doesn't have to talk to his friends from where he's from all the time.
^they don't even sleep. ><;;
Once school starts, things will change, I know it will. (:

BUT ANYWAY, my dad and I have been arguing a lot more recently. ><;; I don't know why but our father-daughter relationship has been crumbling a lot lately.
Sometimes it's really good and all, and it just seems that when things go TOO well, it starts crumbling again.

And so, a few days ago on registration day, I was at a friend's house and i hadn't called him.
He got really pissed off.
And when I got home, or on the way home rather, he starting giving me this lecture going on saying how I should think of others and stuff.
That after work he's REALLY tired and that I should've called around 5:30 to confirm the time to pick me up from my friend's house.
(Even my mom said that I was selfish and no one liked me. Perhaps that's one reason why I started thinking everyone hates me...)
It's not as convenient for me to go to my friend's house since I'm one of the people in our group that lives the farthest and has a parent that complains and rants too much about it.
So Charlene, sorry. I probably can't go to your house as much anymore now. My dad told me:
"Don't ever go to her house anymore!" in an angry tone.
I'm sure he doesn't actually mean it, but it IS kind of inconvenient for me. I can't walk home, it'll take at least 30 minutes, and it's not safe at night.
My dad complains how he has to drive me and stuff.
I don't want to bother the others by asking them for rides home too much either. ><;;
mianhe.
sorry.
it's all my fault. ><;;
Sorry for ruining the fun at your house at the very end. Everything was going well until he called and I start yelling a bit.
-bows ten million times-
it somehow always turns out that i yell through the phone when i'm at your house.
it must be bothersome for you guys.
Don't worry, everything's fine.
just live life normally the way you guys do everyday.
pretend nothing happened. :D
okay? okay. ^^
See you when school starts.

it was short, but it was worth it

So last week on Saturday, i had my last piano exam.
And the day before that, my last piano lesson.
Learning piano for almost 6 years and it had finally come to an end.
Though I have not reached the end to the world of piano lessons, it was time for me to stop.
That is how I feel.
Many events happen to fall on the date of my piano classes, I didn't want to owe too many classes. I could always switch the lessons for my classes, but then again, I hardly ever practice. I wouldn't want to waste my parents' money. It was my parents who wanted me to stop first, and now when I want to stop, they're telling me to continue because that would be a waste to suddenly stop when I haven't completed all the levels. They tell me "it's like dropping out of high school when you're only in grade 10".
Still.
I don't want to go through another piano exam, the stress is too much for me. This summer I went over my limit with practicing piano to the point that I cried.<-- and my dad yelled at me for crying. >->;; No more of that, please.
i'll practice piano once in a while, yiruma songs, you know?
i still like music, a lot. I just feel that I need to take a little break now and then.

but anyway, school starts in 2 weeks.
O
M
G.
sh... (:

fangirl! >:O

I went to eat sushi yesterday at a place really close to my house..
AND I SAW THIS CUTE GUY THAT WAS WORKING THERE AN---
no im joking. LOL.
I HEARD "I'm a Loner" BY CNBLUE AND WAS LIKE: ZOMGSHHHHHH!!!!!! -shocku face- "NO WAIIIIIZZZZZ!!!!!!!!"
and now i'm listening to CNBlue because i want to. :)

And then yesterday... I was just fangirling. XD
I was fangirling so much i started sweating... :|
^^'
i am weird... aren't i? :|
MANGA TIMEE~~<3

Longggg Days

HM HM HM HM HM. I forgot what I did on Wednesday, but I'm sure it was pretty important. I remember that I went to Niagara Falls yesterday on Thursday... Now what did I do on Wednesday... What did I do... oh em gee I can't remember!!! D8 I'm turning oldddd~~~ noooooooo. *shrieks*

CHOTTO MATTE! I went to the shrine cirus last Saturday, on July 31. :) IT WAS AWESOME. The people are soooo talented. I may put up a few pictures of it later on~~ so come see please! =D If I don't, then oh well...
And then this Monday we celebrated my dad and my cousin's birthday. Happy Belated Birthday to them. :) My cousin's birthday comes the day after my dad's~ keke.
Niagara with friends was pretty fun too. :) But MAN was it ever so hot. D; I felt like i was MELTING and turning into a puddle of me. :)

BUT I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I DID ON WEDNESDAYYYYY. DX so sad. T.T
I shall get back to you later. T.T

And for today... :) It was truly an amazing day... at night at least... :P I shall explain why... tomorrow... on my other blog. :)

two words...

I'm. Pathetic.


Perhaps I've always been pathetic and no one's ever told me.
Perhaps I've always been someone no one likes.
Perhaps my life is a lie.
Perhaps I deserve it.
Perhaps I should hang my head in shame.
Perhaps I ought to be alone.
Perhaps I shouldn't bother other people.
Perhaps...
Perhaps....
perhaps...

Outing's are fun if you go with the right people~

Sosososososo,
dear groupie members♥
which would be...
LLWong, Akeru, Mitsi, and Techno~
Kekeke.
Today was a blast, had a lot of fun with you guys~~
LOL, my first time eating dinner with a group of friends + cousin together...
At least i think it was, although i feel like there WAS another time...
oh well, i'll just count this as my first time! keke~
SOSOSO yeahhh.
My friend had fun too. (:
She said all of you were nice. Thank you for being nice. ^^
man, i feel like i have the most awesome-est friends ever~
you guys are cool. BD

By the way, thank you LLLLLLLLLLLLWOWOWOWOWOWONGNGNGNGNG... yeah it doesn't work so well with your name.. >_>;; thank you for not using God's name in vain. ^^ I laughed. :P but I don't really think writing it like that is using his name in vain though. :P but i'm not sure. -shrugs- thanks for keeping it in mind though. :3
TINAAAA.... no i think you forgot. XD Nick sent it to me 2 months ago. :P AND I MISS YOU TOO!!!!~~<3 D:
L;  D: you didn't say you love me. -is sad- LOL im joking. Yes yes, I shall say hi to my cousin for you. =D AND yeahh, i can play wedding dress...slightly... but of course it's not the best playing ever... cough.. LOL. By the way, i still remember i need to keep a heads up for any productive things for us to do together next year<33 i WILL find something that will allow you to come. D8 i WILL!!!

Boredom will take Over.

SSSSSSIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHH.
Summer's started! YERRR<333~~~
Everyone's been waiting for summer. (: I remember everyone's like "I can't wait for summer to come!!!"
and now summer's here... and personally i find it boring... Summer gets more boring each year. =_____=;; But what can we do? Find something to pass the time with; sure~
So yeah; I can finally now talk to my cousin without hesitation and D: he CAN be annoying. LOL i figured that Akeru's probably the only one in the group that hasn't met him yet(?)

So what have you people been doing so far? (: I've been watching WGM<333
Yonghwa&Seohyun<333333
JoKwon&GaIn<33333333333<---funny couple man. 
JO KWON'S AWESOME. ;o He's so pro.. at like.... things..... LOL. He's also very funny. (: I love it when he talks so fast and when he starts singing and... kekeke~
I had to put Romantic Princess at a stop to watch these WGM shows. :P
I've also been listening to "Baby Step" by Varsity. IT'S SO GOOD♥
Yar, my friend sent me the youtube link to it a few days ago; but i had another friend who sent it to me like... 2 months ago; haha.

I've also been listening to "A Whole New World"... you know; aladdin? Disney? Yeahhhh. I don't know, listening to that makes me want to watch the old Disney movies again. ): Disney has turned into something more violent today
I was watching television and then i see a commercial... trailer... thing for a movie by disney... and golly... violent much...
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CUTE, GENTLE, AWESOME-SONGs, DISNEY?! D:
see, the world today is becoming cruel... well, not cruel.. but i don't like it. ): <

new template``

I figured it was time for a new template. ^^
SO YEAH. My cousin's been with me for about 4 days already.
It's been going nicely. (: He's so cool<3
He's met most of my friends I believe.
He's a shy boy, but he's still cool♥

Exams are done and summer's just begun.

With grade nine as part of our past now, we're taking big steps towards THE SUMMERRRRRRRR.
And then Grade 10, but who cares at this point? (:
Exams are over! (at least for me). Very happy about that indeed.
I think I pretty much failed geography... math should've done a lot better on. oh me oh my. ):

So yeah, the grade eights graduated today<33
Congratz to you my grade eight minions and other crew. (:
A big leap from grade 8 to grade 9, from elementary school to high school!
You people are going to LOVE grade 9 *coughcough could be arguable coughcough* (:
Can't wait to see you all next year, we're going to have a blast together.

Anyway, today is also the day.
The day i have been waiting for.
The day that was supposed to come last year but didn't.
The day I have been counting down for a month already.
The day my cousin, aunt, and uncle comes! woooo!!!
8:55pm plane arrives I think it was. D= So late man
Cant wait to see them after like.. 5-7 years. Man it's been long. ><;;

So yeah, have you all heard about the earthquake that was rated at a magnitude of 5? ;o Went all around from Ontario to even Montreal. Aiyahhhh!!! The world's ending! ZOMGSH.
No im joking. It's not ending yet. (: Otherwise we'd be dead right now.
So yeah, i was humming to a yiruma song<3 and my table started shaking. I looked at my table and thought it was ME. So I moved back to find it was still shaking... So I'm like: O_____O;; OMGSH THAT BETTER NOT BE AN EARTHQUAKE
So i waited for a second and it wouldn't stop, but it finally did. :P I was ready to run out my door. Seriously.

Anyway, that concludes the blog for today. :3

A bit over a week. =)

Sometimes my DAD can REALLY piss me off.
But then again, can't all parents just annoy their child(ren)?
So around 6:30 my mom calls and tells me that my dad and i are eating pizza tonight. I said okay and that i'll start preheating and stuff at 6:45. So i went down at 6:45 and preheated and stuff, but i had some difficulties... .__.; i don't use the oven much.. i don't cook. (:
it was around 7 when it was done so i put the pizzas in and my dad comes home right after i started baking them and he's like "let's eat! I bought stuff home! =D "
I tell him that I already started making pizza and he starts spazzing at how I should've called HIM to tell him we were eating pizza. OKAY first of all, i NEVER call my dad to tell him we're eating ANYTHING so why should he expect me to call TODAY? =_=
SECOND OF ALL. HE should call me to tell me. He starts calling me stupid and everything and GOSH how i REALLY REALLY dislike HIM RIGHT NOW.
=_= so now he's eating dinner without me and i have to go to piano class in 15 minutes.
Parents are so.. ugh.

BUT BUT BUT oh wells.
EQAO started today. (:
didn't finish 2 multiple choice questions. T____T and i'm even more screwed tomorrow since it will be on optimization and measurements and stuff.
So yeah, next monday i have a music exam. I dropped 2%. :( I ish so sad now

oh, dad's telling me to eat now... pizza. -sigh- whatever.

edit: OH YEAH.
i also have two exams next Thursday, it's also the grade 8 graduation. =) I'M DEFINITELY GOING. ^^ Yay~
And then finally, the thing that might make me really happy; my cousin, uncle and aunt are coming! ^^ uncle to visit, aunt probably staying, cousin staying for sure... and attending school here next year. (:
please treat him nicely and welcome him. =D

Happy Birthday Suyi♥

SO DEAR SUYI.
Happy Birthday<3
-Jacqueline.
(:
Is what a SHORT happy birthday wish would be.
BUT WITH ME.
it'll be LOOOONNGGGG.
SO ANYWAY.
again, i only have about 30 minutes, but technically after reading your post, apparently i have 15 minutes until your real birthday. (: and official age of 15... but who cares.
DEAR SUYI.
Why you so cool man?
haha, sorry. but yes indeed you're very cool. (:
BUT YOU'RE FINALLY 15!!! well, soon to be.
Man, oldie..
and NO. ): < i'm NOT older. hmph. =D
my birthday's tomorrow. BWAHAHAHAHA.
no im joking. ):
BUT ANYWAY, i hope you HAD an awesome birthday.
enjoyed our little singing during gym and math. ;)
you know you loved those two moments the MOST out of the whole day and REMEMBER. If you get us back; expect something coming right back at chu. ^w^
So yeah, that's all for now.
Love you suyi<33

AND AND
I GOT A HAIRCUT! 8D
so short... i look like a boy.
D: people laughed at it..
so mean.. QQ
WELL GUESS WHAT?!
YOUR HAIR'S BAD TOO! ): <
no i'm joking<3
i don't care if they laugh or think i'm a boy. (:
they're just jealous i have a better haircut then them. ;)
no need to be jealouss~~

Niagara Falls Trip--BUSTED. no im kidding.

SO.
Today's field trip to NIAGARA FALLS was
awesome.
extraordinary.
fun.
tiring.
long.
omgshiwannagohome.
AND those are some parts that describe the feelings i had and what i thought of the trip. (:
So first off, left the school around 8:15am. We were originally supposed to leave at eight but some people arrived late, so we delayed our take off. <--hahaha airport. XD
So we arrived at our first destination: The Devil's Punch Bowl. You know, for a name that epic, the place isn't exactly epic. I imagined something.. purple? Yeah.. ._.; it was a field with a rock shaped like a bowl? <-- i guess that's where the name comes from? BUT NONETHELESS, the place was pretty cool. (:  The rocks look really cool too, and really high. @_@
NEXT DESTINATION~~ i forgot where.
I think it was the white water walk. I don't even know if that's the name. BUT whatever. Elevator going downnn~~~ (FACT: it was made in 1932.) (ANOTHER FACT: they advertise magnetic moose in the elevator?) so after going down the elevator, we walked along this creepy path that lead to a beautiful water rush thingy ma bobber. Man, the rapids were FAST. But the waves looked really cool. I tried taking a picture of the epic waves, i think it turned out pretty cool. At the very end, man, rocks full of lots of COLOURFUL.... gum. Yeah, it was pretty at least? But a bit.. disgusting? BUT IT WAS STILL PRETTY AT LEAST!!!
So our next stop was... oh shoot i forgot wait. LOLOLOL. I think after the devil's punch bowl was the Queen's Height Park or something something. We ate lunch. That's it. (:
SO NEXT AFTER THE WATER WALK
was the Maid of the Mist.WOOOO~~
it was fun. Lots of fun. Actually, around that time i think i was going high because of the heat. LOL, weird, i know. As we got on the boat, i was jumping up and down because i was excited. We wore rain coats since we were going near the falls, the mist felt nice. (: My raincoat hood was down, i didn't think i'd need it. Not to mention it was hot in there. ): So my head got all wet. :P but at least it was fun. XD i liked it a lot there. (:
And then we were ON OUR WAY HOMEEE after going around niagara.
BUT it took us FOUR FLIPPING HOURS to get home. :( Apparently the third bus crashed into a car with a pregnant lady, but it seems that all is well. (: Everyone's safe, that's the good part. But we had to stay in one spot and wait for an hour and we weren't even allowed to go outside. -_- suffocating us. We left niagara at 4:15, and we arrived back at school around 8:30pm. -sigh- i couldn't go to piano class. :( and i have a recital in two weeks that i'm not 100% sure i'm going to... BUT STILL.
anyway, overall, it was a fun day, except for the ending. (:

LAST 30 minutes to say Haps Burday.

SOSOSOSOSSOOOOOOO
I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN A WHILE.
that's probably why i forgot to type a happy birthday thingy majiggy to you Charlene
BUT I STILL LOVE YOUUUUUUU
and i think i'm typing this at a time i might go high...
BUT HEHEHEHEHEHE
=)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLENE!!!
bububuuuu<333
can't wait for the trip tomorrow right charlene? ;)
i'm going to like... give you birthday pokes. (:
just to express my friendship and love. *huge grin*
wakakakakaka. (:
Thank you for being such an awesome friend and granddaughter.. -cough-
I hope you had an awesome birthday.
pity we didn't get together. ><;;
i felt so lazy today.
not to mention it was such a hot day. DX
but i hope your wishes came trueee<333
also, your birthday is a good day to thank your parents for bringing you into the world. (:
^HAHAHAHA harvest moon birthday card saying. XD
ALSO happy victoria day eh? (:
hope you saw lots and lots of fireworks coming at your direction!
pewpewpew.
(:
i'm being so random right now. -sigh-
ANYWAY.
I SHALL SEE YOU TOMORROW!!
lots of love on your birthday {and yes, it's still your birthday!! DX }
chuchu<3~

RANDOM TIME~~~

bububuuu♥~

BUBUBUUU♥~ 

bububuuu♥~

BUbuBUUU♥~ 

BUBUBUUU♥~

I don't know. I've been saying that a lot. P:
 My friend thinks there's a special meaning; but i have no idea what it means....
soooo... what can it mean???
it can be a sound effect...
orrrr "I LOVE YOUUU♥~"
or.... just a disappointing sound effect. no it can't be that...
WELL.
whatever it is.
BUBUBUU TO YOU ALL<3
^NO. it's not something bad. (:
   

aheart2worship

--->please check my spiritual blog<---
i would appreciate it.
aheart2worship

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Happy Mother's Day everyone!!! (:
Yes, i'm up at this time because i was finishing things up for my mom.
I made her an origami rose and a toilet paper (>->;; cheapo) flower. They're both a fail, but it'll do. AND THE SAD THING IS THAT MY MOM SAW THEM AND WAS LIKE "ohh those are pretty flowers" I didn't hide them fast enough. ><;; at least she never saw the card. that's good... right?
So anyway, pictures pictures pictures to share:

So yeahhh, it doesn't look BAD but i guess it was more of a rushed thing.
The presents aren't good but.. it's the thought that counts! D:
Oh right, i know this is like... a week or two ago, but my math line assignment: :3

Drawn out version

line assignment part.

Not bad right? (: I'm hoping i didn't make any mistakes. =|
otherwise i'd scream. -___-

it's... not you, it's me... seriously

GUESS WHAT?!
;o what?!
I GOT A NEW CLARINET MOUTHPIECE!
YAYYYY!!!!!!
But it broke again. -_____- the day after i got it. Because it fell on the floor. Pooie.

I was shock-u! D: I stared at it for like.... a minute after it broke (and the bell already rang for the end of music class). -sigh- And now, my teacher told me to get a YAMAHA mouthpiece. ><;; cosmo's music? ):
WHY must the clarinet cost so much? D8 if it's not the mouthpiece then it's the reeds. GOSH. But it's okay. (: the clarinet is still awesome because it's just awesome. XD
Had a playing test today. ><;; hope i did well. I'm not even sure how i played it. I only remember that i was shaking really badly after... :P

SO ANYWAY.
For the past few days, i've been really really tired. And sleepy. Whenever I get the chance to, i'd lay down on my bed and close my eyes for a few minutes and then slowly drift away. Ughhh, i wonder why. Maybe my parents are right, i've been sleeping wayyyy too late. ): Gotta force myself to sleep early... that's not a bad idea. No, that's definitely the BEST idea. My accountability partner and i set a time for ourselves on when we have to sleep. By at LEAST 12:30... and if we can accomplish that, we try sleeping at 12. To be honest? It's not working. At all.

Not to mention, geography project is REALLY confusing me.
I was supposed to call my partner todayyy, but something made me not call.... (other than the fact i don't like talking on the phone?)  i don't know. i think we're pretty screwed for this project. I'm getting really confused with all the researching about the resources and stuff behind a product we use everyday. My partner and i chose a digital camera, and yes. technology is very hard. -___- remind me not to pick technology again. it kills.

cry myself a river to drown in

DDDDDDDD:
it's done.
correction: it's ALMOST done.
it fails.
correction: it EPICALLY fails.
What?
my music assignment. :(

^see that? D:
my assignment.
What a total fail isn't it? ):
dad said it's too congested.
friend said it was "pretty good".
and for your information; pretty good =/= good.

To die or not to Die? That is the question.

D:
assignments are not, i repeat, NOT fun at all.
One class the teacher gives you an assignment; sure that's fine. it's just ONE assignment.
But you go into other classes and oh em geeeee you get a pile of more assignments to do.
I have an assignment for EACH subject. -heart breaks-
One for Gym, one for Geography, one for Music, one for Math.
=_=
Gym--->this one should be easy though. It's just recording and reflecting on our physical activities (which... i don't do much)  {due: May 13}

Geography--->are you kidding me? D: after one project, 2 weeks later you get another it. it just never stops. Partners? Psh. my partner a
nd i aren't even close... i have a feeling there are going to be problems between us. {due: May 13}

Music--->how often do you get music assignments? Not often at all; but for the history time period? sure. This one shouldn't be THAT hard.... right? ): {due: Monday}

Math--->okay, so... 2 weeks to work on it. (?) Started yesterday... heh. line assignment. :( taking forever to do the equations. I have 150 lines, and i'm only done 34 within the past few hours. D; but it's alright. Thank goodness the teacher gave us a one day extension, but even so, i'd like to finish it by Sunday. {due: Tuesday}

^So yeah. I hope i can start on my other assignments early and not procrastinate on them like i do with almost every assignment. ><;; not very wise to procrastinate in high school ehh? <-so canadian. XD
sorry. ._.

Fifty Seven Years

I was walking around in my house, well... going back to my room after I finished talking on the phone, and then i came by this poem like thing. I found it really sweet. (:
I don't know where it came from; and i'm positive it's not from my parents to the other, but who cares.

Fifty Seven Years

All in a row

Fifty Seven Years

I love you

you know

We flew over the moon

And danced among the stars

We even danced

On Jupiter and Mars

And now, my darling

We sit this one out

And hold hands and dream

That's what love is about

Fifty Seven Years

All in a row

Fifty Seven Years

I love you

you know.

Happy Birthday LY~♥

So yeah. Even though i'm late in posting it here.
I've posted it on facebook, msn, and hotmail. (:

Happy Birthday my awesome Lucy Yu~

Best friends til the end. (:

and the crowd goes wild!

MIDTERM.
What's that?
Oh, just your term 1 report card.
Ohhhhh.
YES. Midterms were given on Friday, April 23, 2010 {<--i don't know. i like stating dates for some reason}
And I actually did quite well on my report. :D
Although. D: my mark is bound to go down this term... i asian failed my last geo unit test. ): Like... it was SO horrible my parents and i could've gotten a heartattack
But yeah, for now, my grades are still in good shape... i think. BUT ): <
my dad's not satisfied with it at all.
DUDE. I'd like to try and KEEP my average if that's even possible. It's almost IMPOSSIBLE for me to get a 98% average, kay?!
i'd like to see YOU get a 98% average on YOUR report! OH! Pity, you don't go to school anymore and what's that? you didn't get 98? I THOUGHT SO.
It was unlikely for me to have gotten my average and you expect MORE from me? Some father you are. =_=

Happy Birthday CM♥

my love for changing blog templates. (:
i get to learn new things every time i change it since they're all different and unique in their own special ways. :D
this one's a little difficult but that's alright. it's better for your brain right? keep it active. XDD

Anyway, i wanted to say.
HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!!
And Happy Birthday to my dear friend Cindyyyy♥
Special girl. (:
Birthday on the same day as earth day. haha. 

i think my head cracked.... just a little bit.

SO. What do I mean by "i think my head cracked"?
Well... .___.;; -points to previous post- i was going crazy there... uhmm... slept at 4 on thursday because of stupid geography project, did a good 75 min workout in the fitness room for gym first thing in the morning on friday, after school practices clarinet and after that, walked with friend. I'm crazy here because... i didn't feel one bit tired {until the end}...
saturday... i forgot what i did then so i'm crazy for that.
sunday... after church at home after eating dinner i started spinning my head around and around and singing Amazing Grace over and over again. But just a small part of it...
amazing grace, how sweet thy sound.
would save a wrench like me
i once was lost but now im found
was blind and now i see
that part. I don't even think i sang it correctly..
then i went around going "go go go fishy fly fly fly, fly fly fly fishy go go go, go go go fishy fly fly fly, fly fly fly fishy go, go, go. (: (: (: (:" {i think i should buy another fish...}
^yep, i've definitely been hit in the head too hard. and then some yucky substance started filling in my head... and DUN DUN DUNNNN. <-read post before this.
...
..
.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
(:

Oh right, a new member to my family.
my 8th child.
and no. i've not been busy. =___=;;
they're all adopted. muahahaha.
oh... one godchild too.
and because my newborn son is a big fan of her, i shall say it too.
just for the heck of it.
also because this mother has gone crazy.
and it bored.
so happy birthday to his dear jessica jung.
lower cased.
because she doesn't deserved to be capitalized.
haha
no im joking.
*Jessica Jung.
there.

BrAiN eXpLoSiOn?!

I'm talking to a friend who said they swallowed gum and it seems to be stuck in the throat. (:
^by the way, I hope you're okay.

ANYWAY. (: She said it was sticky...
AND THEN I SAID...
THAT MY BRAIN IS STICKY BECAUSE IT EXPLODED AND ALL THESE STICKY SUBSTANCES CAME FLYING OUT OF MY BRAIN. And now when I shake my head I can hear these liquid-y sticky-ish substances swishing around in my head and clogging everything up and stopping my brain from working. OH NOES. My marks be flying down from the CNTOWER to the ground soon!
FWOOSH FWOOSH!
FLAP FLAP
GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG.
SWISH SWISH.
^ the sound of my brain full of the substance.
UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE FOUND. WEEOOOWEEOOOWEEEOOOOOOOO!!!!!! EMERGENCY! CALL THE AMBULANCE! A WEIRD UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE HAS BEEN FOUND AND IS NEEDED TO BE EXAMINED AND OBSERVED!
QUICK DOCTORS! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND KOKORO DIES WITH BLOOD COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH AND AND AND OH MY GOSH IT'S TOO LATE ALREADY!!! BLOOD'S SQUIRTING EVERYWHERE!
MAYDAY MAYDAY!

The rest of the blog is rated 18+ due to the amount of gore all over the place. (: Viewer discretion is advised.

DUN DUN DUNNN.
-starts poking you to death- BWAHAHAHAHAHA. No i'm not high. (:
I LOVE YOU<33333
seriously, i'm not high.
DO YOU LOVE ME?!?!?! :D:D:D:D
no no, like.. seriously. i'm fine. not high at all.
I SEE A PLANE! OR NO, IS THAT A PLANE? IS THAT A BIRD? IS THAT SUPER---- oh it's a bird.
WALA WALA WALA WALA.
EEEEEEE
TEEEEEE
PPPPHHHHOOONNNEEE
HHHOOOMMMEEE.
Or does he say go home? NO. I'M SURE IT'S PHONE HOME. DONT RUIN MY MOOD!!! D; YOU HORRIBLE PERSON!
Okay i'm done.
ONE MORE THING.
HAIIIII WINCENT! (: {vinnie the wooh} claimage! <--new word. (:
wanna leave a message? ;D

not myself

Okay, I know that I said we should think about our parents feelings but sometimes they go beyond the boundaries. =_____=;; OKAY dad, i GET it. I DIDN'T wash the dishes and you're TIRED and mom's going to be back in TEN MINUTES. I'm SORRY i didn't wash the dishes today. I wasn't FEELING like myself {upset?} and my head was HURTING because of math. {while other times i get lazy}
Ever wonder when you're doing a daily thing {washing dishes for examples}, why your parents accuse you or something for not washing the dishes yet never praise you when you do? I'd like to know that too. And if your parents DO praise you, you got lucky. =_= *stares at you* I asked my dad that once and he told me it was because he wanted to remind me. OKAY. SO LET'S SEE. Out of a week, I washed the dishes for six days and suddenly I forget to wash it for one day and you're spazzing at me for not washing it this ONCE? OH. I see how the minds of parents work now. THIS must be done everyday otherwise you get a good spazz from us. A play to say?
parent: why didn't you wash the dishes?!
kid: i'm sorry! i was too busy with homework and forgot!
parent: how can you forget to wash the dishes?
kid: I wash them everyday! why do you have to scream at me when i don't for once?
parent: BECAUSE SOMETHING IS BUSTED IN THAT LITTLE BRAIN OF YOURS!

Okay no i was exaggerating near the end because i like exaggerations... sometimes...

So yeah apparently, according to Tinaa, i haven't been myself lately. Well... I guess I don't feel like myself lately. Or maybe perhaps this is only at home. At school I feel normal and everything. I'm not sure. >____<;; sleeping late because i can't sleep and because of homework and math is just confusing me so badly right now. And I especially dislike plotting graphs and drawing them. What a waste of time. =____=;; -burns you up-

I'm done. oh yeah, in case you guys haven't read or noticed or whatever or blah. I made a new blog. It's for spiritual use only. and nooo not to connect with the spirits that have no where to go, but more like for God. You can find more information ---> here

Easter Monday

listening to: prettyboy - M2M
Activity: working on health brochure
Currently: {procrastinating}

Have you ever those times when you get up from sitting or laying down for too long and when you get up and stretch, your eyes go all blurry? Well, i get that a lot. My parents said that it's because I don't exercise much and all I do is sit in front of the computer {true by the way... ishly} and my blood doesn't circulate properly or something. It happened today, but usually i close my eyes and just stand there. Today my eyes were kept open and I actually fell to the ground. {something like fainting but not really}. I don't know. I really need to get out more.

Oh right, beautiful weather we had for the past few days. ♥ But don't let the weather fool you into thinking that summer's just around the corner. Unfortunately, the weather forecast said that it'll be raining again tomorrow. Boohoo. ): So much for having a good weather. It was good while it lasted for now though. (: I got to spend some time with parents and uhmm... a friend. (: Didn't do much though. I'd have to say, I probably didn't do much homework either. I'm supposed to be working on it right now. Procrastinating much right? D;

So for Easter Monday, what did you guys do? For me, I went out in the morning to eat with some people... and then went around places to help this older guy find a place to learn English. {ESL}. AND THEN came home. (: boring day, yeah yeah I know. AND for the past...... 7 hours? I've been trying to work on my health brochure... but i started to procrastinate. Lovely ain't it? =___=;;

By the way, i still can't believe i'm still blogging. :D with personal websites, i go on and fix it once in a while and then BAM i never go on it ever again. >______<;; ah well. ANYWAY. D: I really should go back to working on my health brochure. Catch you all later. (:

"Go quickly and tell his disciples, he has been raised from the dead." -Matthew 28:7

by the way, i plan to make another blog about spiritual sharing and everything. (: SOON. not today. too busy today. ^^ love you all♥

EDIT: I LIED! D: i made a new blog. >___<;; linkie in link section♥

Good Friday {yesterday}

Happy Good Friday Day.. (:
Today is the day, that the Lord has been placed on the cross and died for our sins. We should be thankful and acknowledge this day. How many people would die on the cross for you? I doubt many. Who'd want to be nailed to a cross alive just for YOU when you're the one in wrong? No one. They'd probably go "it's YOUR fault. Why should I be places on that cross when you're the one that did something wrong?" But JESUS did. BECAUSE HE LOVES US!!!!!!!♥ yayayayayayay. (: that totally just killed the serious mood. LOL but it's ok.

i didn't go to good friday service because.... it's hard to say it in english. God didn't "gan dong" {mando pinying} me to go to it.. but rather to spend time with my dad more.

did i ever mention i REALLY don't like it when people repetitively tell me to DO something or GO somewhere for that matter? Like.. you have NO idea how much i REALLY REALLY REALLY dislike it. Like my parents telling me to go play the piano numerous times. igetitdad,imgoingtoplaysoon. you know what i mean? I'm not a rebel or anything, heck no. it's because.... it's hard to explain. the more one tells you to do something... the more you feel REALLY pressured and totally lose the mood to do that thing. like piano, i WILL play it. they tell me to play it.. and once i get there.. i totally just want to slam the piano keys. {thank goodness the sound of piano can put me at peace. otherwise i'd still be flipping around.}

so anyways. TIME FOR MY BEAUTY SLEEP MY MINIONS. bwahahahaha.
i be praying for y-- actually i should do a prayer here. (: a short simple one,,kayy??

Dear Heavenly Father that lives in Heaven above all,
Father God, please bless these many souls among the surface of the earth. Forgive them when they have done something wrong. Show them your love and let them know that you love them. Bless the readers here, and bless the people who aren't reading this too. Bless our friends and families. Bless our homes and your home; our hearts. Let us be kept safe under your warm loving wings. Help us fly when we fall or catch us before we fall to the ground.

Thank you for giving up your life for our sake. For our wrong doings and basically for all our sins. There is none like you that would be willing to give their life up to save others Lord. There is literally no one... i think. But thank you for loving and caring about everyone on this planet. Father, thank you for sending your son to die on the cross. Even though he may not have wanted to, but he was willing to. (: Thank you Jesus for being brave and for saving our lives from many evils that came and have yet to come. D: pray that you will always keep us in your hands and walk beside us when we go through any path of evil and guild us back out. LORD, in 2 days you will RISE and live again. When you were taken to heaven, you did not die. No. You lived then and you live now, and Lord, you will ALWAYS live. "Long lives the King Jesus". (: Hallelujah praise his name.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. --John 19:30

Let us remember this day that you've given your life for us on the cross oh so many years ago. (: Let us remember that you live forever and for always.

Lord I need to sleep now. D: i'm sorry i can't make this prayer any longer, but i pray that the readers will continue this prayer on for themselves. (: oh! Lord, i should totally make a spiritual blog thing... dont' you think? Let me know if you think it's a good idea Lord. (: Anyways, good night Lord. Love you a lot♥♥
In Jesus' name we ALL PRAY
Amen.

sinking to the earth's core

WARNING: Parents do not read this. THIS INCLUDES YOU FREDDY. (: {i'm just joking}
Dedications to my little panda; tinaa c. and just about all of the people who get angry.

Have you ever had a time when you were just SO angry you can just blow up? or maybe you feel like you're about to grab a heavy object and just whip it to the other side of the room? Or maybe even go as far as wanting to jump off the CNTOWER? {or at least something tall}
i know i have. BUT that's normal. (: {and if you've never felt this way, something's wrong with you. seriously. go see a doctor}

many of us are furious with our parents. WHY do they have to ask such pointless questions? WHY do they have to do this to me? WHY do they have to care so much about me? {because they love you} WHY do they give me a hard time? WHY can't they mind their own business? WHY can't they leave me alone? WHY do they have to talk about me so loudly on purpose? WHY can't they say it to my face in a more calm tone? WHY can't they let me be in peace? WHY can't they see i'm busy? WHY are they in my room? WHY can't they just leave? WHY this WHY that. WHY do we complain? Our minds are all full of questions on WHY our parents have to do what they do. simple, the answer is that they love you. I often go into the "why" phrase of life with my parents. Never thought of THEIR whys for us.

WHY won't my child listen to me? WHY can't they see that i'm doing this for their own good? WHY do they have to rebel against me? WHY can't they see i care for them? WHY can't they see i do this out of love? WHY do they not understand i'm only making sure they're safe? WHY do they have to push me aside? WHY is it that my child will grow up to hate me when i've done so much for them? WHY can't they see all the work i've done or them?

of course, i'm not a parent. i wouldn't know all the whys that go on in their head. as a child, i would know our whys. sometimes we wish that our parents can disappear. then we'd be so happy. What about people without parents? how they just WISH to have parents to teach them what's wrong and what's right. We should very well appreciate all that our parents have done for us and will do for us for the rest of their lives. don't expect that parents will live forever.
two things in life that are guaranteed: taxes and death.
so folks.

have you ever told your parents you LOVE them? Ever talked to them within the past few years? Like... actually had a GOOD, heart to heart conversation? Sat down and just laughed with them? Apparently many adolescences don't. {but i do. *starts bragging * ahhaha no.. but i do talk with them}. Parents get hurt easily when you don't TALK to them. They're perhaps happiest in their heart when you do talk to them. EVEN if they don't show it, they ARE happy.
my fellow friends.
sometimes we wish to CRY so badly. Or even HARM ourselves with a simple sharp object. {let's not go into detail}. Why? So that we can get rid of all the darkness that's collecting in our hearts. Let me say; BE GONE SATAN! THE LORD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH! WITH HIM ALONE WE CAN LIVE THROUGH ALL TEMPTATIONS OF YOURS. And if we fall, there are many others to help us get up again. And most importantly: have GOD bring us back up again through the power of TRUST and FAITH in the LORD.

so let's go back to the topic about CRYING ourselves to the ends of the earth full of tears. okay im just kidding. jeez, trying to lighten up the mood here...... right, so many of us WANT to CRY {but end up with the sharp object} or actually CRY out.
People, it's okay to cry. Sure, you want to put up a mask or think you're STRONG. But i'm sorry to break it to you... you're not as strong as you think. PHYSICALLY sure, but EMOTIONALLY?... yeah... we'll have to think about that.

like i said to my friend:
it's okay to be weak sometimes. That's what God is for. When we're weak, God will be there to give us a shoulder to lean on and a hand to help us up. weSHOULD be strong, that's what we think, but there are times when being weak means God's waiting for us to run into his open arms so he may embrace us tight and tell us "it's ok my child, it's okk, you have me and i'll always be there for you." he's always behind us to make sure we don't fall to the ground. but he's also in front of us to lead us to the light; the right path of life.

listen well my friends, for God has a plan for you. THIS anger. THIS life you have... is all just the beginning. There is MORE to come and the future? MUCH scarier than what you have. NOW you can rely on friends and parents. but in the future? Who's there for you? LIVE well and learn the words of the bible, so that no matter when and where, you know that you can rely on GOD the most. Relying on GOD and HUMANS, there's a difference between those two. I shall let you discover that on your own. The difference between relying on people and GOD.
What IS the difference?
{wanna cbox your thoughts? ;)}
and yes... my parents tell me "you know how to SAY it but you don't know how to SHOW it". I should learn to do exactly what i've just said...
well, took an hour and 15 minutes writing this. TIME TO SLEEP.

obsession lost? D:

yeh, me and my obsession over dramas. ): I remember when there was a time that I liked anime wayyy more. P: But now it's all about dramas!!! *-* So anyway.

Recently i've been watching a korean drama called "goong princess hours". YAY! I'm able to watch it on youtube. YAY! Able to watch it on ipod too. YAY!
BUT NO. They HAD to take it down from youtube. ):<>__<;; UGHH. ): ALL THE ANIME ARE ECCHI AND HENTAI AND I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THAT.

But in the meantime i shall watch something else...
delightful girl choon hyang? lovers in paris? sweet 18?
OH. There are some more i can find. many recommend autumn's concerto...
*sigh*
I'll probably be watching delightful girl choon hyang for now...
T_____T; wwwwwaaaaeeeeee?!?!?!
I WANT MY GOONG PRINCESS HOUR DRAMA!!! D;
I will get revenge!!!! ):< they wait and see.

#5. March Break in USA-final day

my conscience is telling me that this is the final entry for my trip to the US. (:
and my conscience also told me that i make a lot of typos in my posts... so please do excuse them. (:
GUESS WHAT PEOPLE?! AHHAHAHA. Geography project WAS supposed to be due tomorrow but has now been extended to be due on Thursday because the teachers are cool like that. BD
And guess what else my conscience told me? 8D THAT NEXT FRIDAY WE HAVE ANOTHER DAY OFF BECAUSE OF GOOD FRIDAY! WOOOOOO!!! *parties*
Anyway, DAY FIVE RIGHT?

Day Five {thursday, march 18, 2010} the final battle. *gasp*

Today we got up and went down to eat breakfast. I'd say the food wasn't bad for breakfast, but it's not something I'd like to eat everyday. I mistaken this omelet thing for pancake and poured syrup on it and then saw my mom's had ketchup on it instead. *looks down* but uhmmmm, it didn't taste that bad. :D I'd say it tasted pretty good! :D You people should try it. Add syrup to your scrambled eggs or something next time. Yumz.

We finished packing up after breakfast and we were on our way home!!! Woot!! NOT. We went to a plaza/shopping mall and DUDE was it ever big. Like, you can get lost in there.... okay not literally, but it would take forever if you spent your time looking through everything in each store. I bought some clothing there. (: ohh how rude of me for not introducing the store to you. XD (I'm so hilarious right?? Ahhahaha.... I bet all you people are like "..." right now) the plaza is called "Garden State Plaza" or "WESTFIELD Garden State Plaza". Get it right people. NOT "Jersey Garden". Two different places people and no, i didn't meet anyone I knew this time. It would be interesting if i did again though. XP

So after everything, we left the plaza and we're on our way home now. No jokes. (: I should be arriving at least at 12 or later. Yay. Ugh, have to start on geo project. Something I dearly dread doing.

So my rating for this vacation trip to USA? 3.5 or 4 out of5.
I thought it probably could've been better and there were quite a few times where I was REEAAALLLYYYYY annoyed but despite all that, I'd say I had fun spending some quality time with my parents. (: Alright, I should stop now. My eyesight is going to become even worse since I'm typing this on my iPod at 8:30pm when it's pitch black. (but now on the computer. ye) See y'all.
-kokoro

#4. March Break in USA

bwahahaha i should be working on geography right now. but that thing is so confusing that i'm willing to fail. OH. as you can tell. (: i changed my template again. i like it a lot this time. (: like.. SO MUCH that i keep looking at it. *looks down* ANYWAY.
Time to tell you DAY FOUR of my break.

Day Four (wednesday, march 17, 2010)
Last day here. We left New Jersey this morning to go to New York. I guess today is A LOT better than the other days by FAR. That's just my opinion though. We went to Chinatown again. I noticed my parents always have to go to Chinatown or downtown or something. Hehe. So right. Chinatown is HUGE. It totally felt like we were in Hong Kong again too. But the foods still don't match up to Toronto which was a pity. We left out car with some people. At first i kept worrying as to what might happen but im sure those people can be trusted.....

We past by the place where the world trade center use to be and took pictures while we were there. Then we hopped on board a boat to STATUE OF LIBERTY!!!!! Took pictures there and bought some souvenirs for myself. My parents bought some for themselves as well. I also got my friends some things. Although... I didn't get Techno anything because I knew he came to New York. But my parents said we were in NYC. and apparently when I read tech's blog it said he didn't go there. So I started to panic whether I should buy him something. But by then we were far from the shop already so I hoped I would be able to fine something in chinatown. ): sadly i wasn't able to and now i don't think i'll be able to get him anything. Should have gottem gim something from washington. D: Ugh, MIANHE TECHNO.

There's a lot of cute stuff here. (: buy my mom said that I can buy them in Toronto Cinatown. I guess that's true too. Right now we're going to the Empire State Building. But the GPS is acting stupid and unable to find the satellite signal. OHHHH TODAY'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! I'm not wearing anything green. Oh well. My dad said i'm not Irish so "who cares". tch tch. I will be back to tell you more. (:

-kokoro

Edit: So in the end, the GPS totally led us right out of New York and back into New Jersey. My parents weren't very happy with that but what other choice did we have? we weren't going to pay $8 again to go in. So we decided to just stay in New Jersey and go to the sopping mall. But before that, we had to get a hotel room. Tonight we're staying in best western. I only know that the place is totally expensive. But my parents know I might start complaining about how bad places might be in other places. It turned out we went to supermarket to buy some food and go home to eat. There was one chicken left and it was half priced once we got there. We walked towards the chicken and asked for the price and the people were like "ohhh it's 50% off now". *sticks something on it* Luckyyy. (: Thank the Lord fro supplying us with food to eat for the night, half price too. (:
--
AH MY GAWSH. my parents are tired now. ): Wonder how i'll do geography. AND IM SUPPOSED TO PRACTICE PIANO. But i feel lazy. >___<; what a horrible child i am.

#3. March Break in USA

WOOT! Changed my... persona thingy for firefox. (: Strawberries. yum. Right, im having a hard time with geography right now. D: so... anyone willing to do it for me? No? Well....

YOU SELFISH PEOPLE! NOT EVEN WILLING TO HELP A POOR GIRL OUT!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASH--- no im kidding. :P i can manage. ANYWAY, let's see what goes on Day Three of me trip.

Day Three (Tuesday, March 16, 2010)
So today we went on our way to Philadelphia. City hall was HUGE but downtown scared me a little. I don't know... There were a lot of unfortunate people, as in... homeless. But that's not so scary. The place was FILLED with people smoking though. I got worried my lungs would be contaminated with all the smoke. SECOND HANG SMOKING YOU KNOW?!?!?! D: < but thank goodness we left there and went around Philly and boy oh boy were there a lot of pretty places. I took pictures so refer to those. :D (some of you) oh right, at the end before going to New Jersey to find a place to stay over night, we went to some kind of shopping mall and somehwere deep inside there I saw ADAM SHAFEEK. :O:O:O:O (classmate).

Then we were on our way to NEW JERSEY and there was Internet connection in the inn we stayed in. (hehe... inn we stayed in... XDDD... >->;) so my dad went on the laptop to check some stuff. I went on ebuddy to see if any of my awesome friends were on. (: LACE and Akeru were on so OBVIOUSLY i had to talk to them. ;D I was happy to talk to them. Although Akeru left early so I ended up talking to LACE alone in the end. Man, I can't wait to go back to Canada.

Oh, we're going to New York tomorrow. Techno was there since Saturday to ummm... Monday or Tuesday so it would be unlikely to meet him. Then again, NY is huge so it'd be unlikely to see him anyways.

LALALALA~~~~~ so bored. D: ishalltellyouasecretnow.
Did you know, right now is already day four and not three??? :O I'm writing this the day AFTER the supposedly written date. *gasp* and i just got yelled at by my parents because they thought i was playing but im actually writing this. =_= how stupidly stupid is that? Just because I have btoh earphones in my ears (listening to music) and I'm typing. Stuuupiiddd.

Anyway, I'm gone.
-kokoro

(edit: Oh right, when we were at the shopping mall, I ran across this music t-shirt (which i simply adore) and it also came with SPEAKERS yeye!!! thing is, it was on sale too. And no it wasn't $25 or even $10. It was $6.99!!!! No tax. ;)<---now how surprised i was when i found out there were no tax. I even told my mom to give me a twenty in case it would go over ten dollars with tax included. :P Well, learned something new. Oh right, the speakers aren't horrible either so im gine with it. :D I also bought new running shoes (no tax again!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA). Yo, im not going to list everything I buy. Waste of time and it's pointless doing that so for now, ciao!)

#2. March Break in USA

SO HOW GOES MY SECOND DAY IN USA? We'll have to see what i wrote in my journal thingy then. GOING BACK... 4 days?

Day Two (Monday, March 15, 2010)
Today's day, might i say, was probably not the best. Get up in the morning and we're on our way to Washington. Wooo right? Sure, guess you could say that. We arrived at the White house not long after and once we get out of the car... it was COLD. Not to mention it was RAINING, therefore that totally killed people's mood. Well, it killed MY mood for sure. But whatever. Hmmmm. Where did we go after? Oh, after taking pictures of the White House, we walked around the places and there were uhhh these vehicles selling clothing for Washington DC so we bought some things. Three t-shirts, three zippies and two caps. I like mine. (: then we ventured to CHINATOWN. Apparently, according to what my parents know, is that Toronto has the best Chinatown with Chinese food. Something to be proud of, yes? We ate in this restaurant which apparently makes their own noodles but can i be honest here? It wasn't all that great at all. I think i've tasted better in Toronto for sure. But the place isnt' bad. What i dislike is that many places that have wi-fi requires you to pay or have some type of identification which really sucks you know.

After Chinatown, we went to visit Abraham Lincoln Memorial. At first there weren't any ways toget in so my dad decided to turn in on a right (even though it said NO TURNING RIGHT) and that scared the jeepers out of my mom and i. we kept trying to make sure that the car wasn't going to be towed away since it said that it would be. Luckily it didn't in the end. *whew*

After all that, my parents decided to go to Philadelphia to visit a bit. It took FOREVER yo and in the end we ended up stopping somewhere in Pennsylvania and decided to continue to Philly the next day along with going to New York. But on the way I watched PHANTOMOFTHEOPERA PHANTOMOFTHEOPERA wooooooooooooo!!!!!!! But the laptop batter died in the end and i didn't get to finish watching it al all. Pity ain't it? D: so on the way we kind of got lost and that's why it took forever. But guess what best part is???? :D We're staying in the same building.. (the name is the same, but obviously different building). Awesome right? There's no smell this time (good). There no MICROWAVE or FRIDGE this time though (bad). So right now we're totally eating out at a place called China House. O_o; LOL. anyway.

I miss my friends. ): I shall totally hang out with them when i get back. (: That's no doubt. XD Like Akeru said, we'll bully eddiewardo anddddd. PHAIL`D PHILTHY PHILLY DILLY PHILLIP PHILLIPY CHI BOBO THE SMILEY BLUSHY MUMBLE FACE HOBO LITTLE BOY DOT. (who TOTALLY loves Jessica Jung<--he told me to write this. =_=) 8D Don't you just love the nickname i gave LACE? I noticed my new awesome besties (aside from two other friends but they're not in my school atm) are all from the same school. D: I'm a lonely sheep that wandered into the wrong herd but somehow was able to fit in because of they're warm and loving hearts. Ahehehehehe♥ Saranghaeyo my awesome friends. (:

USA trip

Hello everyone!
After 4 days ( i think it was 4 days, don't remember) it is finally the last day of my trip. I am finally coming back tomorrow. (: SO FOR ALL OF YOU WHO WANTED ME TO STAY LONGER. Too bad. *sticks tongue out at you* As for my awesome friends... I WILL BE COMING BACK TO HAUNT YOU slash BOTHER YOU!! MUAHAHAHA. BEWARE. So mhmmm, let's see... I have no idea where i am right now. I believe i'm in New Jersey though... i'm not TOO sure. shall i tell you my trip? Although i wrote journal-like things. Should I write that? Oh... I'll write one each everyday. (: WE GO BACK 4 DAYS AND START ON DAY 1: Sunday, March 14, 2010. *improvised writing*
...
#1. March Break in USA
DAY ONE
Here I am. Staying over night in Frederik. We're expected to be in Washington tomorrow since it already got so late today. The ride was freakishly long!! My stomach started to hurt a bit. Car sick I guess? We started off at around ten and got here at about six to seven. Let me tell you, I thought that this place would be nice since it looked pretty nice from the outside. But i entered the room and this SMELL came roaming out and ti almost swept my parents and i away. (no offense room). I didn't know what the smell is and surely i never will. My dad said it was something they sprayed in the room but i thought that was highly unlikely because the smell was horrendous and i'm pretty sure they wouldn't spray something that would make the customers uncomfortable.. Or maybe they did spray it and americans rather adore the smell. Who knows. I know for sure that i don't. So anyway, we're only staying here for one night. then we're off to washington tomorrow and perhaps staying in another place or something since the prices in Washington are high too.

So after out arrival, we decided to go out and eat. We went to McDonalds that was ear and duuddddeeeee there is WI-FI!! Totally awesome. (edit: BY THE WAY CANADIANS. DON'T EVER DRINK SWEET TEA. IT'S JUST TOOOO SWEET. >_< but you CAN try it if you want. I didn't like it though). Then went to Dollar General because my mom wanted to see if there was any difference in there. Things seemed pretty cheap you know. Cup noodles 2 for $1 and clothing like t-shirts and everything? Haha yeahhhhhh. Never thought I'd see something like that in there. We went to uhh, eagle something. It's a supermarket, interesting name, I know. Eagles. Hehe. So i saw some movies that were being sold at the market and immediately i thought to myself "OMG IS THERE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA?!?! IF THERE IS I AM GOING TO SCREAM!!!" so I looked around. Found narnia: prince caspian. And the BAAM. Phantom of the opera right in front of me. Okay, i didn't scream but i was in my head. Ran over to my parents going "THEY HAVE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! THEY HAVE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!! can we get it? PLEASE?!" my dad was probably annoyed by now since i've been talking about it for a while but it WAS cheaper than best buy in Canada. It was like.... $16.99 in Canada and i thought it for $7.99. THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE wouldn't you agree? (: so as a happy kid, we went back and now i'm just typing to you. [i](okay people not YOU, you... journal you)[/i]
-kokoro

okay that's all people. Wow, longer than expected. SORRY IF YOU GOT BORED ALONG THE WAY! ANYWAY. Parents want to finish watching movie. TALK TO YOU LATER Y'ALL (<-- actually heard some people saying that. LOL)

daylight

So it's a Saturday. Went to dentist early in the morning. But man, i don't like the dentist i have now... i actually liked the dentist before... my second dentist. The first dentist pulled out my front top baby teeth when it wasn't even THAT loose yet. Therefore, my top teeth turned out to be overbite. {luckily i have braces}
ANYWAY, so came home and played FlyFF until the server thing got cut down so yeah, many people couldn't play.
Right now, we have guests over at our house. They stayed for dinner, and it's kind of like small group... or something, except it's not exactly small group. Played wii for a bit and then watched "Finding Nemo". I actually teared a bit at some parts. I felt tears. XDDD
RIGHT. So tomorrow, i'm on my way to washington. I'll be back on thursday. I'll see you all after then. Maybe we can plan something before march break ends.
I know i still have to start on my geography: ecozone project. =____=;; so annoying. ugh.
Anyway, love you all, i'll miss you all. (: or at least most of you. (hehe) so... for now... (: catch you all later. I'LL BE BACK TO GATHER INFORATION ON WHAT YOU DID FOR MARCH BREAK!!! (: Be prepared and write me a 5 page summary of how it's been so far. (: < nah i'm just kidding. I'll just ask you straight out. bwahahaha.

okk, really need to go. the kid that's over at my house is getting bored. i need to do some serious entertaining. OPERATION ENTERTAIN KID! :D

EDIT: Okayy, kid left. (: i think he left with a smile. good. ^^
and right, it's DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME ON... or was it OFF? I forget. Anyway, main point: move your time up one hour. :D You have one hour less to sleep. muahahahaha.

March BREAK!

Hey everyone.
Today was... oh my gosh.
After doing the geography unit test {which i totally know i failed it} and a few other classes, school was over. that is... FOR THE MARCH BREAK. i'll be going to washington. (: yep yep. {by the way, sorry Akeru! D:} after school, stayed after to practice clarinet. Then went to orthodontic and stayed there for an hour. Apparently my gum has been inflamed and they were putting new braces on and it just wouldn't stick. So yeah, an hour there, then went to eat at FMP... bought two games at Best Buy afterwards. Rabbids2 and kingdom hearts 328/2 days. They're both okayy so far. =/
==; SO THEN I CAME HOME, TRIED LOGGING IN TO MSN... and it wouldn't work. Error 80048831. I think something's wrong with my id account. i tried to reset the password a gazillion times, but it just wouldn't work. D: Would that mean i have to make a new email and like... try and add everyone?! But i don't remember who i had and who i didn't.... GAHHHH.

edit: msn works now. (: hehe♥

happiness

YES.
so ... TWO DAYS ago.... {monday} i was flyffing with a friend. (: The other one was off... it was late i believe so she wasn't on. So anyway, there's this event happening... "Chance Box Drop" thingy. The rarest thing you can get is ELEGANT BLACK WINGS. So i probably got like... 10 chance boxes..... most of them were "flasks"... i got cupid wings... and then... BOOM. ELEGANT BLACK WINGS. I WAS SO HAPPY. the friend i was with got his a long time ago. the first box he opened actually. ==; *sweatdrop*
anyway, the happiness doesn't end here.
YESTERDAY {tuesday}, i got my mark back for my geo powerpoint. (: I DIDN'T FAIL! YES. I actually did A LOT better than i thought. HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY! No? ;) Thank you for praying for me too accountability partner. (: Oh.. i should give you the link for my blog too... anywho... i was soooo happy, i went to math happy. got my average for that. I went up by 7%. ^^ YAYAYAY. YESSSSSS. Man... must be my lucky day, but i have to hand it to you God. (: You sure do surprise me in many ways. OH. RIGHT.
I was SO scared about my geo... i thought i was going to fail or get 0 because of "plagurism" but sunday night i had a dream that i got 81% on it. I actually got a bonus from God too. :P That's why I have to thank him. ^^ Thank you GOD.
SO YEAH.
Self-defense class.
instructor's really funny. but today... sorry. *crosses that out* YESTERDAY, the warm up was a killer. D: Apparently today's is even worse.... and tomorrow's the EVEN worse... and friday... instructor: "let's just say you're very lucky to have march break after".
WE.
ARE.
SO.
DEAD.
BY.
FRIDAY.
Period. end of discussion.

Love you all!
kisskissmuah

MARCH BREAK!!! ... is almost here.

Hey everyoneee!! :D:D:D
everyone: hi kokorooooo!
ureshii. ^^
Anyway, so "yesterday" was our breakfast honour roll ceremony thing and OMGSH!!!! D: < ALL I DID WAS SIT THERE WATCHING PEOPLE WITH HIGHER SCORES GO UP AND DOWN THE STAGE. I WANTED TO PRACTICE FOR MY GYM SKILL TEST!!! UGHHHHH. I don't even know what skill i want her to mark me on. OMGSH you know what? FORGET GYM. I've never been good at it anyways. HMPH.
also for GEOGRAPHY. OH MY GOSH. My teacher gave us the work on WEDNESDAY and expects us to finish on THURSDAY. Sad thing is i had band so i came home around 5... i was doing math until 6... and then ate dinner and stuff until 8... so i actually started working at EIGHT O CLOCK. AND MY OH MY. LOOK. THE OTHER CLASSES GETS TO HAND IT IN ON FRIDAY. I SEEEEE. D: < Haha but... Akeru and i are feeling the same thing in geography class. :P Uhh... techono journee in another class. anywho, when akeru and i are in geo class, we have friends. (: *good thing* unfortunately though... it seems as though our "friends" aren't willingly enough wanting to partner with us in projects and things. -sigh- it's kind of hard to work like that. I mean, i know i have friends, but they're most likely going to pair up with their OTHER friend... right Akeru??? ): *bad thing*

anywayyy, imma go go go go go now. I have gym skill test, music playing test and math unit test tomorrow. >_< WISH. ME. LUCK or i may die. (: although you're all sleeping so who cares?

Olympics has ended

Awww, so the olympics are officially over. ):
It was awesome watching it, thank you for holding such an awesome show everyone around the world. ^^ Yay for USA who came in first place with 36 medals and for Germany coming in second with 30 medals, and CANADA in third place with 26 medals, but first with the most gold ever (14).
It's so sad to see the Olympics end. ): Makes my heart so sad for some reason. >_< Well, hoping that summer olympics in England 2 years from now would be as wonderful as the winter olympics this year. ^^
Oh right, listen to "I believe" by Nikki Yanofsky. It's such an awesome song, very touching too. Man, i love that song. I actually never of the whole thing, and i've been looking for the as my profile song, but i didn't know that the olympics actually had a theme song.... P: Well, now i do... at the last minute of olympics too. =_= isn't that just so sad? Anyway, listen to it people, and i hope you like it too. ^^

LOVE YOU ALL, and remember, BELIEVE. (:
kisskissmuah
-kokoro

The most funnest day ever is spent with friends. (:

Hey everyoneee, so in the end, i went to the "outing" although it wasn't an "outing" but more like hanging out at Mitsi's place, but holy smokes it was so.... =_=;;
..
.
FUN! :D
Okayy, I guess this is somewhat my first time gathering at a friend's house to hang out... although it was for Mitsi's birthday... (there were no cake. D: haha i'm just joking) WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS AGAIN THOUGH. Like... Totally. Totally. Totally should do that again. :D YOU GET ME?! AHEHE. ^-^ Had some pretty good laughs too. (: Haven't laughed that hard in a long time. P: It's good to spend time with friends and get a good laugh once in a while. ^^ Staying trapped at home isn't always fun. D: Need to get out more. >_< Yes, I need to get out more often. -sigh-

BWAHAHAHA. WE SHALL DO THIS AGAIN THE SUMMER!!! When's my cousin coming though? .__.;; need to know that first, BUT IT'S OKK. (: I mean, Akeru, Techno, Mitsi and LACE can all get to know my awesomely cool cousin. BD RIGHT GUYS? Exactly! ^^ SO, as for now... we must finish school (BIG SIGH) and our exams (BIGGER SIGH) and high school and university and life (BIGGEST SIGH).. oh no wait... taxes are the biggest sigh.. OH! Taxes are the biggest of the biggest sigh. :D Okk yeah i'm done. ME SHALL TALK TO YOU ISH ALL LATER... did that make sense?

OH. Right, before i forget, HAPPY LAST DAY OF FEBRUARY, happy birthday to my friend from school and today, when eating breakfast, my mom took out fortune cookies. There were two, i took one and she took one. Her's said something about.. something being pleasant for her company... what company? unless it meant something that happened a few hours ago, although it's not really a company... but like.. never mind..

so i open mine... and i was really shocked... remember how i posted that when i was younger i always felt left out and lonely? I also felt unloved and uncared for. But my fortune from the cookie... I felt as if it was a message from GOD. It said "Appreciate the caring people who surround you". It was a 50/50 chance that I would've gotten this fortune between TWO fortune cookies. But no, I felt that God was telling me a message, telling me that throughout the years that i've felt unloved, unwanted, uncared for, not needed... i was actually cared for. i knew my parents cared for me, but unsure about my friends. But this message says it loud and clear, my friends have said they cared for me. With this message, i smiled to myself and thank God, knowing that he cares about me... and that when my friends say they care about me, it's true. That is why i was able to go to my mitsi's house in peace today.... last night... yeah. (: Thank you God, i love you a lot. I love my friends too. ^^

Love you ALL<3
kisskissmuah

Deepest cut healing?

Hey everyone, not sure if you all remember, but there was a period of time when I just felt SO down. Like no one cared for me at all, and I started to cry and everything? Yeah, well... I guess you could say that i'm feeling better..... not sure if that's entirely true, but i know i feel a little better. Sometimes I still get that feeling that i'm left alone though. Sometimes it feels... nice to be left alone, or maybe i'm just too used to it. Too used to closing myself up.

so recently my friends have been talking about going on an outing someplace tomorrow. I don't know, i feel uncomfortable. Like going to beautiful-reflection's fellowship, just... so uncomfortable. Out of place... intruding, you get me? I hardly understand what they're talking about online. P: which is fine... since i hardly understand what many friends are talking about.

like last year, out of my friends in class, they all knew this ONE secret... and i didn't know what it was. even though i asked my friends, they either tell me that it's not their secret or they can't tell me. I remember in math class, my teacher said to get into a group to make a probability board game within the given time. (a full class period, only one). I was sitting up front and when i turned around to look at my "friends", they were already in groups. Two different groups of 6, all filled up. Oh, lucky me. The odd one out. Haha, my teacher noticed that i was left out, she told me to join another group for the time being. I cried so badly when i got to that group. I ducked my head though, making sure no one saw, but the group i was working with saw...
ah...
my deepest
darkest
cut....
is my heart.
is it healing?
no one knows.
not even i know.
sometimes i feel it is...
sometimes i feel it's not.
so is it? or not?
i don't know.

Happy Birthday Mitsibeeeeee~

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to mitsi, happy birthday to you!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITSI! (:
I hope you have an awesome day full of blessing and love from everyone. ^^
(especially me. huhuhuhu) ANYWAY.
I've said what I wanted to s- by the way, Crispers are good man.....
right, so i've said what i wanted to say on the card already. (: enjoy enjoy enjoy♥

i really should stop eating the crispers chips... im not going to be able to eat dinner. >_< speaking of dinner.... what's for dinner? ._. uhh... right. anyway,
i haven't watched the olympics for a while because i've been SO busy. TONIGHT IS THE WOMEN SINGLE SKATING SHORT PROGRAM! I have piano so I can't watch it as much. (:

Anyway, that's it. WISHING YOU A BLESSED HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITSI. Much love. (:

love you all~
kisskissmuah

4th Gold!

Hey everyone! I haven't been watching the olympics lately because of my geo unit one project. ): But I think I'm almost done it though. :D

So anyway, we now have FOUR (hundred million... ha, i wish) gold medals! YAY!!! It was received by Jon Montgomery in the Skeleton event. GOOD JOB JON! (: Proud of you. Canada's now ranked 5th, it WAS 4th, but because of KOREA, we were bumped to 5th and they as 4th. But oh well, Canada will work hard to get those gold medals! There are still many chances. (:

By the way, i'm listening to Doushite Kimi Wo Suki Ni Natte Shimattandarou (Why did I fall in love with you? Well, I don't know why you fell in love with them, YOU tell ME.) Don't you just love my random comments that fly out of no where? :D

Anyway, today is Feb 20th so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!! A.K.A Evil Little Monkey#1. HE IS OUT TO GET THE WORLD. MAY DAY, MAY DAY. AHHHHHHHHHH, no im joking. (:

That's all for now then♥

Love you all~
kisskissmuah